Lazy Day "Meals"

Let me just start off by saying that none of these are going to be actual meal, by putting the word “meal” and “lazy”, for me, that means just a large snack. A snack that is suitable for just sitting in front of the television all day. So here it is.

Breakfast-I think that this one should be beyond obvious…cold cereal. Maybe if you are feel motivated you can go put a pop tart in the toaster for a warmer meal, but for the most part cereal and milk and you can listen to my favorite cereal eating song right here http://youtu.be/u5_aFc2bWiM.

Lunch-this is one that I am particularly proud of discovering. My mom finds this cheese at Sam’s Club (I would like to apologize that I can not recall the name) that comes in this one pound block and is already individually sliced and the slices are separates with a thin piece of paper. Once you have the cheese now all you need are some Triscuts. My favorite kind to uses is rosemary and olive oil. What you are going to want to do is to put some of the cheese on to the cracker then eat it. Through out years of testing I have concluded that to get the ideal cracker to cheese ratio you must fold the slice of cheese into fourths, this gives you a smaller piece of cheese that is about the same size as the cracker. After one pound if cheese and a box of Triscuts you will be full until dinner time easily.

Dinner-one word-leftovers. My personal favorite would have to be spaghetti, pop it in the micro wave for a few minutes and *snaps fingers* you have a delicious piping hot plate of heaven. (302 words)     

Drink Mixing

I believe I have discovered a new fad that drink companies are doing.

Throughout the years I have begun to notice a change in the types of juices and drinks that have been available to me. Perhaps I have just never noticed this before and it really has been going on since before I was born. The difference is that drink companies are beginning to mix their drinks with different types of fruit juices, my favorite being mango juice.

I first noticed this while I was trying to purchase an Arnold Palmer (for those of you who live under a rock it is a delicious mix of lemonade and iced tea) when I noticed that they were out of it. So naturally I started to look around for the next best thing when I stumbled upon a beverage made by the company Arizona. This beverage was half ice tea, like the Arnold Palmer that I had wanted, but rather than having lemonade it had mango juice. Thinking that it would have an interesting flavor to it I decided to give it a try and then immediately fell in love with it. The only way that I can think to describe it is as being a less harsh taste than Arnold Palmer. If AP (Arnold Palmer) was a mountain, than this new drink would be a grass covered, gently rolling hill.

Then it couldn't have been a week later that I had just woken up from a very restful slumber at my, at that time, dear friends’ house. Their mother greeted us that morning with pancakes and this strange orange juice concoction. When I tried it I was blown away and had to ask what it was. The answer was orange juice, banana juice (I’m not sure how you can get juice from a banana), and strawberry juice (again, not sure how that works) and apparently you could just buy this stuff at the grocery store! Then she showed me the other bottle that they kept in their refrigerator, this one was mango and orange juice and it was my favorite of the two.

Now that, as you may know by now, I have a job in food sales I know how much of what we sell and I was surprised to learn that we sell just as much regular orange juice as we do orange juice mixes, and for good reason. I feel that they taste better and also the addition of new fruits to the juice adds nutrients that otherwise may have been missing. So as someone who works in the food business I would say to give this a try and get on board with the new fad.

If this was a thing before more than just a few years ago please let me know so I can delete this post and not feel stupid.(479 words)

Wendy's Review

Today I thought that I would shake thing up a bit and do a review of the newly redesigned Wendy’s on 42^nd street.

Before the remolding this eating establishment was about even with any other Wendy’s I had ever been to in my life, but their game was really stepped up. They completely tore down the old to make way for the new, at first this was a little bit scary because nobody knew if they were closing down or going to reopen, but when word got around it was a very big relief. The scariness came from the fact that that Wendy’s is one of the few places that is close enough to our school (I am not going to specify what school because of the predators on the internet) that you can go to, eat at a conferrable pace and return to school with in the lunch period.

One of my favorite additions they made to the Wendy’s is the drink machine. This is a shiny box that has a touch screen allowing you to pick for dozens of different types of pops. Not only does it make the drink getting experience much better, it also helps to add to the modern atmosphere of the restaurant.

Speaking of the atmosphere, I need to talk about the improvements made to it. They added a small area to socialize or drink coffee while watching television and enjoying the non existent heat of the fake fire place that was installed. They also put in a fogy glass wall type of a thing between the area where you wait in line for your food and the dinning area.  

Now that I am thinking about lines I have to talk about the way they redesigned how you order and wait for your ordered food. Before (and this is the way that it is in many fast food restaurants still) you would stand in line and there would be lines to your right and left. Once you ordered you would just sort of stand in between the lines as you waited for your food to come. Wendy’s took more of a subway approach, once you have ordered your food you move down a counter and you from into a waiting line, rather than just a waiting jumbled mess of people.

I think that the remodeling was a very good idea. It gave a new, more modern look to the place, gave it a better flow and even improved my drink getting experience. It is safe to say that this had made me want to eat more Wendy’s.(439 words)

Break Time Meals

So today I will be discussing the less gourmet side of food…break time food.

This type of food must be easy to prepare using only the limited tools provided to you in your break room, this food must be something that can be prepared quickly (because you don’t have a long time on break, normally), and like always it must taste good. I will now tell you a little bit about what I like to eat.

My first break time love was a microwave bacon cheese burger. This treat heats itself up in just two minutes and costs only one dollar and twenty five cents. This was introduced to me by fellow coworkers on my first week, but after a little bit my microwave bacon cheese burgers got old. So it was time to find a new meal.

Next I found what would end up being a very big mistake. I discovered the microwave Monkey bread. This was a family size monkey bread that cost an arm and a leg to get, six dollars and forty nine cents. When I took my first bite I thought I was a genius for finding this great tasting meal, but that was short lived. When working an eight hour day, illegal as it may be, we receive a twenty minute break. When you take away the six minute cooking time you are left with four teen minutes to eat a family size meal…and I regrettably did. The rest of the day I was just praying that I would throw up just to make my stomach ach the rest of the day. Needless to say I never tried that again.

Next I found the healthiest thing yet. The Cesar Salad Kit. For a mere three dollars and fifty nine cents you get a bag that is full of lettuce, has a packet of Cesar Sauce, croutons and some cheese. Although I did have to take some harassment for my friends about eating salad for lunch, it is very delicious. But to much of a good thing can get old, so once again I was forced to find something new.

Then I found what I am on right now. My self and a group of fellow employees all pool our money and buy milk to put in the break room refrigerator and also to buy some assorted cereals. This always allows us to never have to eat the same thing twice in a row.

So if you want my advice on what to eat at work find some buddies and pool your money. (431 words)    

My Brushes with Death

Through out my life I have had several brushes with death because of the substances I have ingested.

My first near death experience occurred in the fifth month of the fourth year of my life. On this day, according to the account of my mother, I had happened to find my way into my parent’s room where my father had irresponsibly left his bottle of Calvin Klein Obsession open and with in my reach. As a preschooler should be, I was curious about this strange liquid that smelled good. Throughout my short life I had learned that if something smelled good then it usually tasted good, so based on that logic I took a swig. I quickly learned that everything that smelled good did NOT taste good so I when to the kitchen where my mom was and asked for a glass of water. I didn't finish the glass so I handed it to my mother and she took the cup and smelt the cologne and quickly asked what I had been drinking. When I told her she promptly called poison control. The operator at poison control instructed my mother to call Calvin Klein who for some reason has a nurse on call 24/7. The nurse told my mom to give me orange juice and keep an eye on me to make sure that I didn't die. I end up fine, but it is now a “funny” joke in my family to talk about how I received brain damage from drinking cologne.

The second time that almost died, I didn't really almost die, like many times my mom over reacted. The story goes like this. In the year of our lord 2011, my mom started getting some very delicious gummy vitamins. Not only do I like things that taste good, but I also just want to best for my body. So I figured that I could do both by eating a large quantity of vitamins. I consumed an estimated fifteen vitamins, it would have been more but I was caught in the act and stopped by my mom. She told me that contrary to my belief, eating large quantities of vitamins is actually dangerous and then called poison control again. Lucky, according to the lady a poison control, the vitamins were of very poor quality and didn’t contain any of the vitamins that can be dangerous in large quantities.

In these stories I never really came THAT close to dying, but I could have and I didn’t and now I am thankful for every day. Thank you for your time. (437 words)      

Billion Dollar Idea

So today I am going to talk about an idea that’s so incredibly great I could potently be the world’s youngest billionaire. I am about to post this in good faith that no one who reads this will steal my idea…so please don’t steal my idea.

Here is my pitch.

I don’t know about you but my second favorite part of eating cereal is drinking the delicious milk that is left in the bottom of the bowl and that absorbs all of the delicious flavors of whatever cereal you have been eating, like the rich honey flavor when eating honey nut cheerios, of the amazing fruity flavor the results from Fruit loops. So now just imagine a world where you can get a jug of this milk with a bright label on it that reads “Parker Steffen and Companies Flavored Mild Co. Inc.”. That world could be reality, if I get the funding that I would need that is. Think how easy it would be to create, all you would have to do would be make a partnership with Kellogg or another large cereal manufacturer, create large tubs of mild and soak cereal in them. Then after that the soggy cereal could be sold to farmers to feed their animals with or something of that nature, so basically you get to make money twice. Then just think how easy is would be to sell, according to a recent survey that I conducted both my mom and my sister said that they would buy this product.  So the economics are there, the demand is there, now you are probably wondering “but Parker, what about the health risks? Surly this delicious sounding idea may be bad for you.” You may be somewhat right, but you have to ask yourself, how is this any different than feeding children sugary cereals every day for breakfast? The only difference is that Parker Steffen and Companies Flavored Mild Co. Inc. would give kids about the same amount of sugar, but also with the benefits of milk like calcium, vitamin D and many more.  

So you now realize that this a billion dollar idea because it’s healthy…ish, the demand is there and it would be easy to profit from, but now you want to know what my business plan is. Well here it is. I like the philosophy of 50 cent, he says “get rich or die tryin’” and that is exactly how I plan to run my business. My plan is to be in a grocery store in every state in the continental U.S. by the end of year one but aggressively advertising and paying to put it in stores. Yes, this will cost a lot of money but the potential pay of will be well worth it.

Now that you know what I am all about, I am looking for an investor who wants to give me twenty five million dollars for a 2.5 percent stake in Parker Steffen and Companies Flavored Mild Co. Inc.. For those of you who are good at math you will know that asking for this means that I value this idea at exactly one billion dollars. If you would like to join me in business simply contact me. Thank you, God bless.  (544 words) 

How to be a Good Server.

I feel like I shouldn’t have to create this post, but I will as a service to mankind.

How to be a good server:

1

.       Make an attempt to be enthusiastic - I am not going to enjoy myself at whatever restaurant you work at if I can tell when you talk to me that you would rather be dead than working there. I am perfectly fine with and understand if you feel that way, just don’t make it that apparent.

2.       We don’t need three hours to choose what we want- I understand that you don’t want to rush us and that you may have other tables to wait on, but when everyone at my table has been sitting there with their menus face down for the last twenty minutes…it’s time to take our orders.

3.       Don’t mess up our orders- I think that I am an understanding guy, and I get that you may make a mistake or two, but when you don’t even write down anyone’s order because you are so confident in yourself to remember then end up getting everyone’s order wrong…I am going to be a little bit annoyed.  Do the world (and the people you’re waiting on) a favor, and write down the order.

4.       Ask us how we are doing- don’t let the only time I see you be when I order, when I get my food, and when I pay. While I am eating come up and ask how I am doing, see if I need a refill and ask me if my steak was cooked correctly. Please don’t let me get thirsty while I watch you talk with your friends at another table.

5.       Come back in a timely manner- when I want to pay don’t just leave the bill and never come back. In general if I am paying that means that I want to leave, so don’t make me sit there and wait for you. I have places to be.

Perhaps I am just  high maintenance, but these are just some thoughts that I thought I would share with the internet.  

Sunday Tradition

My family, like the typical American family, enjoys spending Sundays together after attending church. One thing that I particularly enjoy about my family is how we incorporate food into that.

The whole day start for me at about 10:00 in the morning, when my dad wakes me up. Every day he does it exactly the same way, whether on purpose of not I don’t know, he knocks lightly on the door, this wakes me up, and then says “we’re leaving in 40 minutes, there are doughnuts up stairs when you are ready”. This begins the day of eating.

Every Sunday the first meal the whole family wakes up to is doughnuts. A very long time ago these doughnuts would have been picked up from Krispy Kreme, but ever since the tragic closing of Krispy Kreme the doughnuts have been from the Hy-Vee bakery.  

The name of this meal is a hotly debated topic in my family. My father grew up in a small farm town that had a population of about 200 people and out there they call the noon meal “dinner” the afternoon snack “lunch” and the night time meal “super”.  So just about every time we sit down for a meal my mom and dad playfully fight each trying to get the most people to call it what they want.  

The next meal (lunch/dinner), during the warmer parts of the year is almost always something grilled. Typically when my dad is out getting the doughnuts before we wake up he will also pick us some steak or hamburgers or pork along with maybe some stuffed peppers on a good day. This feast of sorts is enjoyed with family friends we meet up with at church or with only our family.  During the colder months of the year we will typically stop at a restaurant after church to enjoy a meal together.

If you have read my blog before you already know what’s for dinner/supper during the football season (if not, check out that post), but that leaves the rest of the year to nice home cooked meals. My Mom will normally make spaghetti, meatloaf or something else hearty. Sometimes we are asked to vote on who’s meal was better, my mom’s or my dad’s. For this meal my favorite thing to have would be tacos, even though they aren’t really a “hearty” food.

Finally, if my dad is in a good mood he will make shakes for us before we go to bed. This special treat happens about once a month and is always well received. (428 words)          

Eating healthy…is it worth it?

This to me is a very important question because it’s no secret that everyone needs food to live, and most people have certain foods that they like. The only problem is most of the food we like doesn’t like us back, and by that I mean I could kill us. And for me this brings up an interesting dilemma, should you enjoy life while you have it by eating the foods you like even though it could shorten your life, or do you eat healthily (and in most cases miserably) but possibly extend your life?

I think that this all depends on what you want your food to do for you. For example, if you’re planning on running a marathon it probably wouldn't be a wise choice to stuff yourself full of Big Macs, but if you don’t have any plans for the day that would require extreme energy output then I say go ahead and eat it. The philosophy that I try to go by is that life is short so you should do what you want to in order to make sure it is a good life. So let’s say the marathon is very important to you, then you shouldn't let your eating get in the way of that.

The next thing I would like to talk about is the health risks that are associated with eating whatever you want. It would be hard for me to justify dying at 30 because you decided to eat what ever you wanted, you must find a balance. It is up to everyone to decide how much life eating what they please could potentially be worth. Another that I am going to group with health risks is quality of life because I feel that they go hand in hand. The whole point of the blog is try to inform you to make your life better by not worrying so much about what you eat, but in some cases it can make your life worse. If you have ever seen the show “My Half Ton Life” on TLC you know just how awful it can be to live a life that is dominated by obesity. Most of us will never make it one thousand pounds plus, but what they go through could be exactly what you got through, just to a lesser extent. Obesity has also been linked to several different types of cancers as well as diabetes and many more ailments, all of these could have serious effects on your life.

Now its time for me to attempt to make the argument for eating healthy. Like I mentioned before, eating healthily can be a great thing if your life revolves around being super in shape, or you absolutely love sports. In these cases eating unhealthily could cause these parts of your life to suffer because you’re not fueling your body the way that in need to be fueled. The last reason, which I could think of to eat right, is simply because you enjoy it. Most people, my self included, can’t stand the idea of eating things that are good for your body for pleaser, but some people do and to them I say “good job”.

So to rap up this blog, I say weigh the risks and do what makes you happy. Don’t listen to what the rest of the world has to say about what you eat, eat what you want because after all, life is short! (593 words)

How to make Greek Yogurt Better

So you’re eating your Greek yogurt and you finish the cup and you enjoy the small amount fruit that comes in the bottom of the cup, but you find yourself feeling unsatisfied.

This is a problem that I used to face all too often before I discovered how to make the yogurt into a more substantial snack, and now I will give you this piece of knowledge for free in this brief blog.

What I enjoy doing is taking a bowl and dumping two to the same kinds of yogurt into it. As you may imagine this gives you twice the amount of yogurt, helping it to fill you up more. Next you add some granola, thus adding more protein to the concoction and according to a fact that I think I heard on a Kashi commercial, protein helps keep you full longer. Lastly I like to add another fruit on top of it like blue berries or some cut up strawberries, this helps to give the yogurt some more nutrients. This whole things ends up being more like a small meal than a snack, and that’s okay in my book.

So not only do you make the Greek yogurt more filling, but you give it more nutrients and you give it a great new texture other than just mush. Enjoy! (223 words)

Help be the Solution

I will start this blog out by saying that this may turn into a rant, so if reading ranty blogs isn’t your cup of tea I would recommend clicking away now.

I have a job at a drug store near my home where I stock food onto shelves (that is how this relates to food) and at my place of employment I occasionally have to deal with customers who are extremely angry for what ever reason. Normally this doesn’t faze me, but today it was different.

I had taken part of a dear friend of mines shift in addition to my own giving me a ten hour work day (I know that for someone with a real job that doesn’t seem that bad, but it is for me). So I’m on the last half hour of a shift that had everything go wrong in it. Then this woman comes in with her five or six incredibly rude children. They are all very angry that we are out of a certain item that has a particularly good sale, when they ask about the item not being in stock. I could sense that it would be an interesting confrontation because of the way the mixed English and Ebonics to ask the question. When I very politely told them that we were out of it she and all of her children began verbally assaulting me using second grade sentence structures and vocabulary as well as many profanities that a second grader wouldn’t know. This continued on for what seemed like fifteen minutes but in actuality was probably closer to five minutes, all the while I was apologizing (as I am required to do) and asking if there was anything I could do to make it better for them (also as I am required to do, but at this point I didn’t even want them to get anything they wanted). Keep in mind that I am not allowed to correct them or point out the flaws in their reasoning.

So now that I have a place to discuss this, I though that I would. DO NOT yell at the stocker for something that they have no control over. Did they really thing that I was the one who didn’t order enough of the product to put out on the shelves? The answer is no, I am not in charge of that. Even if I had been in charge of the ordering process, which just to say in again I’m not, yelling at me like that wouldn’t have solved anything.

So if you ever find your self shopping around for something to eat and the item that you want isn’t on the shelf, don’t take it out on the poor stocker who had nothing to do with it. If you know someone who does this then send them this and together we can stop this problem. Thank you. (494 words)