Airlines

What I have learned from the airlines is that I am a second class citizen and second class citizens are treated differently that first class citizens. But thanks to an error by Delta Airlines I, not anyone that I was traveling with (which I thought was pretty funny),was allowed to move up to first class. It was awesome.

First of all the people are better. They are mostly from higher in society then everyone else in the plane and they have the sense not to bring their screaming child, or at least not bring them up to the first class section. Another great thing is that, unlike those animals in second class, we are in the front of the plane. This makes for a very quite and relaxing flight. Another thing that adds to the comfort is the larger seats and the complimentary blankets.

Now to the part that this blog is actually about, the food. I will admit that it was a relatively short flight that I was upgraded on, Atlanta to O’Hare, so we were not served real meals, just fantastically free snacks and beverages. While the swine were starving in the back of the plane during our wait on the run, we upper class citizens were served. Keep in mind that all of the following food was completely free. The stewardesses came around with a basket containing, what was advertised as “fresh”, fruit. I enjoyed several apples and bananas. Next she came around with a basket full of fun sized candy bars, but since we could have as many as we wanted it didn’t matter that they were only fun sized. Another option that we had was the option of the free graham Cracker type things that are handed out to the savages in second class, which I admit, even with my sophisticated first class taste buds, I still very much enjoy. The next thing that was provided to use was beverages. The Neanderthals in the back of the plane get water and small sums of pop poured into plastic cups. However we received pop in the can, it was even opened right in front of us. I am not sure why, but I think the fact that they opened it right in front of us made it seem fancier. The also served the older members of first class Champaign. When I asked I was unable to provide sufficient identification.

In conclusion second class sucks. First class is where its at, you get all of the best things along with all of the best serves and all of the best sitting conditions. Fly first class, you don’t know what you are missing. (449 words)