Billion Dollar Idea

So today I am going to talk about an idea that’s so incredibly great I could potently be the world’s youngest billionaire. I am about to post this in good faith that no one who reads this will steal my idea…so please don’t steal my idea.

Here is my pitch.

I don’t know about you but my second favorite part of eating cereal is drinking the delicious milk that is left in the bottom of the bowl and that absorbs all of the delicious flavors of whatever cereal you have been eating, like the rich honey flavor when eating honey nut cheerios, of the amazing fruity flavor the results from Fruit loops. So now just imagine a world where you can get a jug of this milk with a bright label on it that reads “Parker Steffen and Companies Flavored Mild Co. Inc.”. That world could be reality, if I get the funding that I would need that is. Think how easy it would be to create, all you would have to do would be make a partnership with Kellogg or another large cereal manufacturer, create large tubs of mild and soak cereal in them. Then after that the soggy cereal could be sold to farmers to feed their animals with or something of that nature, so basically you get to make money twice. Then just think how easy is would be to sell, according to a recent survey that I conducted both my mom and my sister said that they would buy this product.  So the economics are there, the demand is there, now you are probably wondering “but Parker, what about the health risks? Surly this delicious sounding idea may be bad for you.” You may be somewhat right, but you have to ask yourself, how is this any different than feeding children sugary cereals every day for breakfast? The only difference is that Parker Steffen and Companies Flavored Mild Co. Inc. would give kids about the same amount of sugar, but also with the benefits of milk like calcium, vitamin D and many more.  

So you now realize that this a billion dollar idea because it’s healthy…ish, the demand is there and it would be easy to profit from, but now you want to know what my business plan is. Well here it is. I like the philosophy of 50 cent, he says “get rich or die tryin’” and that is exactly how I plan to run my business. My plan is to be in a grocery store in every state in the continental U.S. by the end of year one but aggressively advertising and paying to put it in stores. Yes, this will cost a lot of money but the potential pay of will be well worth it.

Now that you know what I am all about, I am looking for an investor who wants to give me twenty five million dollars for a 2.5 percent stake in Parker Steffen and Companies Flavored Mild Co. Inc.. For those of you who are good at math you will know that asking for this means that I value this idea at exactly one billion dollars. If you would like to join me in business simply contact me. Thank you, God bless.  (544 words) 

How to be a Good Server.

I feel like I shouldn’t have to create this post, but I will as a service to mankind.

How to be a good server:

1

.       Make an attempt to be enthusiastic - I am not going to enjoy myself at whatever restaurant you work at if I can tell when you talk to me that you would rather be dead than working there. I am perfectly fine with and understand if you feel that way, just don’t make it that apparent.

2.       We don’t need three hours to choose what we want- I understand that you don’t want to rush us and that you may have other tables to wait on, but when everyone at my table has been sitting there with their menus face down for the last twenty minutes…it’s time to take our orders.

3.       Don’t mess up our orders- I think that I am an understanding guy, and I get that you may make a mistake or two, but when you don’t even write down anyone’s order because you are so confident in yourself to remember then end up getting everyone’s order wrong…I am going to be a little bit annoyed.  Do the world (and the people you’re waiting on) a favor, and write down the order.

4.       Ask us how we are doing- don’t let the only time I see you be when I order, when I get my food, and when I pay. While I am eating come up and ask how I am doing, see if I need a refill and ask me if my steak was cooked correctly. Please don’t let me get thirsty while I watch you talk with your friends at another table.

5.       Come back in a timely manner- when I want to pay don’t just leave the bill and never come back. In general if I am paying that means that I want to leave, so don’t make me sit there and wait for you. I have places to be.

Perhaps I am just  high maintenance, but these are just some thoughts that I thought I would share with the internet.  

Sunday Tradition

My family, like the typical American family, enjoys spending Sundays together after attending church. One thing that I particularly enjoy about my family is how we incorporate food into that.

The whole day start for me at about 10:00 in the morning, when my dad wakes me up. Every day he does it exactly the same way, whether on purpose of not I don’t know, he knocks lightly on the door, this wakes me up, and then says “we’re leaving in 40 minutes, there are doughnuts up stairs when you are ready”. This begins the day of eating.

Every Sunday the first meal the whole family wakes up to is doughnuts. A very long time ago these doughnuts would have been picked up from Krispy Kreme, but ever since the tragic closing of Krispy Kreme the doughnuts have been from the Hy-Vee bakery.  

The name of this meal is a hotly debated topic in my family. My father grew up in a small farm town that had a population of about 200 people and out there they call the noon meal “dinner” the afternoon snack “lunch” and the night time meal “super”.  So just about every time we sit down for a meal my mom and dad playfully fight each trying to get the most people to call it what they want.  

The next meal (lunch/dinner), during the warmer parts of the year is almost always something grilled. Typically when my dad is out getting the doughnuts before we wake up he will also pick us some steak or hamburgers or pork along with maybe some stuffed peppers on a good day. This feast of sorts is enjoyed with family friends we meet up with at church or with only our family.  During the colder months of the year we will typically stop at a restaurant after church to enjoy a meal together.

If you have read my blog before you already know what’s for dinner/supper during the football season (if not, check out that post), but that leaves the rest of the year to nice home cooked meals. My Mom will normally make spaghetti, meatloaf or something else hearty. Sometimes we are asked to vote on who’s meal was better, my mom’s or my dad’s. For this meal my favorite thing to have would be tacos, even though they aren’t really a “hearty” food.

Finally, if my dad is in a good mood he will make shakes for us before we go to bed. This special treat happens about once a month and is always well received. (428 words)          

Eating healthy…is it worth it?

This to me is a very important question because it’s no secret that everyone needs food to live, and most people have certain foods that they like. The only problem is most of the food we like doesn’t like us back, and by that I mean I could kill us. And for me this brings up an interesting dilemma, should you enjoy life while you have it by eating the foods you like even though it could shorten your life, or do you eat healthily (and in most cases miserably) but possibly extend your life?

I think that this all depends on what you want your food to do for you. For example, if you’re planning on running a marathon it probably wouldn't be a wise choice to stuff yourself full of Big Macs, but if you don’t have any plans for the day that would require extreme energy output then I say go ahead and eat it. The philosophy that I try to go by is that life is short so you should do what you want to in order to make sure it is a good life. So let’s say the marathon is very important to you, then you shouldn't let your eating get in the way of that.

The next thing I would like to talk about is the health risks that are associated with eating whatever you want. It would be hard for me to justify dying at 30 because you decided to eat what ever you wanted, you must find a balance. It is up to everyone to decide how much life eating what they please could potentially be worth. Another that I am going to group with health risks is quality of life because I feel that they go hand in hand. The whole point of the blog is try to inform you to make your life better by not worrying so much about what you eat, but in some cases it can make your life worse. If you have ever seen the show “My Half Ton Life” on TLC you know just how awful it can be to live a life that is dominated by obesity. Most of us will never make it one thousand pounds plus, but what they go through could be exactly what you got through, just to a lesser extent. Obesity has also been linked to several different types of cancers as well as diabetes and many more ailments, all of these could have serious effects on your life.

Now its time for me to attempt to make the argument for eating healthy. Like I mentioned before, eating healthily can be a great thing if your life revolves around being super in shape, or you absolutely love sports. In these cases eating unhealthily could cause these parts of your life to suffer because you’re not fueling your body the way that in need to be fueled. The last reason, which I could think of to eat right, is simply because you enjoy it. Most people, my self included, can’t stand the idea of eating things that are good for your body for pleaser, but some people do and to them I say “good job”.

So to rap up this blog, I say weigh the risks and do what makes you happy. Don’t listen to what the rest of the world has to say about what you eat, eat what you want because after all, life is short! (593 words)

How to make Greek Yogurt Better

So you’re eating your Greek yogurt and you finish the cup and you enjoy the small amount fruit that comes in the bottom of the cup, but you find yourself feeling unsatisfied.

This is a problem that I used to face all too often before I discovered how to make the yogurt into a more substantial snack, and now I will give you this piece of knowledge for free in this brief blog.

What I enjoy doing is taking a bowl and dumping two to the same kinds of yogurt into it. As you may imagine this gives you twice the amount of yogurt, helping it to fill you up more. Next you add some granola, thus adding more protein to the concoction and according to a fact that I think I heard on a Kashi commercial, protein helps keep you full longer. Lastly I like to add another fruit on top of it like blue berries or some cut up strawberries, this helps to give the yogurt some more nutrients. This whole things ends up being more like a small meal than a snack, and that’s okay in my book.

So not only do you make the Greek yogurt more filling, but you give it more nutrients and you give it a great new texture other than just mush. Enjoy! (223 words)

Help be the Solution

I will start this blog out by saying that this may turn into a rant, so if reading ranty blogs isn’t your cup of tea I would recommend clicking away now.

I have a job at a drug store near my home where I stock food onto shelves (that is how this relates to food) and at my place of employment I occasionally have to deal with customers who are extremely angry for what ever reason. Normally this doesn’t faze me, but today it was different.

I had taken part of a dear friend of mines shift in addition to my own giving me a ten hour work day (I know that for someone with a real job that doesn’t seem that bad, but it is for me). So I’m on the last half hour of a shift that had everything go wrong in it. Then this woman comes in with her five or six incredibly rude children. They are all very angry that we are out of a certain item that has a particularly good sale, when they ask about the item not being in stock. I could sense that it would be an interesting confrontation because of the way the mixed English and Ebonics to ask the question. When I very politely told them that we were out of it she and all of her children began verbally assaulting me using second grade sentence structures and vocabulary as well as many profanities that a second grader wouldn’t know. This continued on for what seemed like fifteen minutes but in actuality was probably closer to five minutes, all the while I was apologizing (as I am required to do) and asking if there was anything I could do to make it better for them (also as I am required to do, but at this point I didn’t even want them to get anything they wanted). Keep in mind that I am not allowed to correct them or point out the flaws in their reasoning.

So now that I have a place to discuss this, I though that I would. DO NOT yell at the stocker for something that they have no control over. Did they really thing that I was the one who didn’t order enough of the product to put out on the shelves? The answer is no, I am not in charge of that. Even if I had been in charge of the ordering process, which just to say in again I’m not, yelling at me like that wouldn’t have solved anything.

So if you ever find your self shopping around for something to eat and the item that you want isn’t on the shelf, don’t take it out on the poor stocker who had nothing to do with it. If you know someone who does this then send them this and together we can stop this problem. Thank you. (494 words)

Game Day Food (Player)

Hello Readers,

Following my post about game day food, I thought that I would make a post about real game day food, which is the food you should eat when YOU have to play today.  The first thing you must understand is that all good food is essentially made up of three things, fats, carbohydrates, and proteins. Getting the proper amount of each of these things will be key to ensuring that you can play your best when you need to.

Proteins are something that you want to avoid for the most part on game day. There is no doubt they are good for you, just not when you have to play soon. Proteins take a long time and a lot of energy for the body to digest. So not only will your body not have gotten the energy out of the protein by the time it’s time to play, but you will actually be taking away energy that could be used for playing and using it for digestion. So in short, try to stay clear of proteins on game day.

Fats get an extremely bad reputation that’s not always completely deserved. As long as you are eating the right types of fats, and not too much of them, they are great to have in your pregame diet. Arctic peoples have eaten seal fat for thousands of years because it is easy for your body to get energy from and that energy arrives quickly, all of this makes certain fats an essential for your game day (in moderation of course)

Carbohydrates are another great thing to eat on game day. Like fats they are quickly and efficiently turned into energy that can be used by your body. But be careful, sometimes the energy can be used to quickly leaving you feeling sluggish if you ate a meal that had almost all carbs and no other sources of energy.

Serving size depends on your size, how soon you will be competing in comparison to when you eat and the level of intensity of your sport. Your last mean should be eaten about four hours before competition and snacks are okay between your competition. All of these things should help to ensure you preform in the best way possible! (379 words)